GOING ONLINE...

Work caries on apace to get the online shop fully stocked. We still have quite a bit of gear waiting to be tastefully photographed, logged and put on the internet which always seems to take longer than anticipated. I’m also going to have to build more backdrops to keep the shots interesting and perky. Dan & Julia (www.mackandme.com), the photographers, however, are doing a grand job and are staying relatively calm with the constant “err….could you just re-photograph that with the thing, maybe across the other, and the bit a different way round” etc. etc. 

IT'S THIS WEEKEND!

Having slept on it, I realise that mention of a stuffed boar head wasn’t very ‘Christmassy’ although I could equally have said that our 5foot battleship now has fairy lights!

There are some beautiful and very different festive goodies to see, such as a large ‘ROBIN STARCH’ enamel sign or a beautiful chalk ware statue of someone…err…religious.

And this weekend there’s our very own recipe mulled wine, mince pies (thanks, Mum!), fairy cakes AND we may even put on some Christmas music…but that’s still up for ‘debate’ amongst ourselves….

CHRISTMAS!

Well – we’re set up for our Christmas Launch weekend. Lots of lovely displays for you to come and look at…although we still haven’t found a suitable party hat for our new taxidermy addition – a boars head!

HAS OLD FURNITURE BECOME LIKE SAND?!

We recently ‘pitched out’ at an Antiques Fair and took a lot of our large furniture to sell there. Having been unable to sell an early Victorian Flame mahogany linen cupboard in the shop I was dismayed that we only achieved £150 at the fair – 10 years ago it would have been £1,000 no problem!

And, at that price, large brown furniture has become like a large bag of sand. It has no real inherent value. It’s a case of how much it costs to move and store, not what it is actually worth. The sad thing is, even at £150 we made a small profit because the dealer we bought it from couldn’t afford to store it!

It’s been predicted for years, but the market for some types of furniture has now collapsed, in terms of traditional retail. This is sad because a large volume of Victorian furniture is now almost certainly destined for landfill.

Here at Nest we have decided it is now economic suicide to handle large brown furniture – see you at IKEA!

PHOTO-SHOOT

We’ve got another photographer on board. Here’s a little snap of her getting down to some work. 

Not seen the results yet but she’s got pretty competitive rates – one large slice of cake per photo…

VAT

Dear Mr Government

If you really want to help small businesses then raise the VAT barrier so that shops like ours don’t have to charge VAT. This will make us comparative with all the internet shops that will eventually put us out of business.

On another note, could you also change the government definition of a small business as having a turnover of up to 5 million? 5 million actually sounds quite large. Perhaps you should create a category of very, very, very small lovely businesses which also happen to carry a 0% VAT rate.

Thank you for not listening.

CHANGING ROOMS

I see ‘Changing Rooms’ is back on TV. I thought the horrific spectre of watching people trying to look happy while an interior designer explains why they chose to do up their lounge in an Amazonian themed MDF way had long gone.

But, no, Kirsty Allsopp’s new show ‘free something or other’ has shown that people can still clearly retain a stiff upper lip when Kirsty reveals the new catastrophe that was their home.

I nearly saw a grown man cry when he saw the pink pastel kingdom his bedroom had become. Just because it’s free, don’t make it right….

HEAVY METAL

For no reason in particular, we ended up last week buying a
whole load of heavy metal. Buckets, milk churns, big boxy

metal things, bins and planters. Amongst them was a very rude looking concrete lighthouse so, of course, we had to buy that as well. Also we bought 3 large industrial chicken feeder although they wouldn’t all fit in the van (sorry Dan & Debs!) so we will get them to the shop at a later date.

Perhaps the star buy was a Dutch mechanics tool chest on wheels (currently in shop). It would make a very industrial chic occasional table (literally – you could just wheel it out!).

Nest is currently crammed full of interesting vintage gear so get over quick before it all goes!

BOOK BARGAINS

A few weeks ago we bought in a load of vintage books to the shop. That same day, a guy came up to the counter with one of the books (an old Enid Blyton) and said “I would like to give you the full price on this but there’s a slight problem”. He opened the book.

The pages had been cored out so as to hide some sort of rectangular box. My immediate reaction was….how exciting…and actually, the customer really liked it as well – but I had to give him a discount!

In retrospect, had we known about this, I would probably have kept it to myself and hidden chocolate inside!

LOSING OUR LANDROVER

Well, it looks like we have sold our beloved Landrover. 

Unfortunately, we have reached that difficult point in our business where our delivery needs have changed. This does mean that, temporarily, we can’t move large loads so there a few larger pieces of furniture in the shop that now come with a hefty price reduction – if you can arrange your own delivery.

As for the Landrover – we’re not talking about it yet….it’s a little upsetting…!

VISITING ROBIN

A robin just flew into the shop, landed on a sculpture of a Garnet, looked at it, did a poo and flew out again. I hope this isn’t some sort of protest…..

ARTISTS' MARQUEE

Well, it’s that time of year again when Burwash Manor holds its Open Studios affiliated exhibition of artists. As usual, I am one of them and, last week, was getting stressed trying to finish off my 4 foot battleship made from scrap metal.

The artistic problem I keep trying to resolve is - how may guns does a battleship need? I want it to be a slightly friendly battleship – the sort you might take pity on and put up in your spare room. The temptation, however, is to keep adding more guns…hey ho. 

Anyway, if that (or the 13 other exhibiting artists!) interests you at all, then pop along to the Artists’ Marquee, each weekend in July, and say hello!

VINTAGED

I don’t know if someone is trying to wind us up. But, given previous rants on stupid new made up words – such as upcycled, recrafted etc. – and also my meltdown on the mis-use of the word ‘vintage, I noticed a small advert in a local glossy magazine for some new plant pots. They were described as ‘vintaged rose plant pots’!

I hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to have an outbreak of more made up words like revintaged and upvintaged.

p.s. just liked this picture of Homer, whom we sat next to for a rest on a recent buying trip!

OLIVE THE WORKSHOP DOG

It always amazes me how Olive (the workshop Labrador) seems to know who has just entered the workshop without seeing them. She is particularly good at knowing the difference between the ‘I’ve come to read the meter’ opening door and the ‘just popping in to see what you’ve got at the workshop’ opening door.

She was very good at spotting the ‘dodgy geezer trying to sell me dodgy CDs’ opening door sound. In fact, it was more a case of opening door sound, charge, woof woof, growl, sound of door closing. Me going to see what the fuss was. Sound of me telling dodgy geezer to go away. Sound of patting Olive on the head – ‘Good girl’.

When she gets older I may bring her to the shop and train her to tell the difference between the ‘I’m going to buy something’ shop bell and the ‘I’m going to prod everything and say I could get it cheaper at the car bootie’ shop bell.

Woof!

TURBO TROUBLES

Last week the turbo on our little van packed up. The garage loaned us a transit van while they repaired it. In an attempt to offset the impending garage bill, we decided that perhaps we should fill the transit with furniture and try and sell it at an Antiques fair (which, by huge freak of nature, was on at the same time and we’d already decided to go).

So, on Monday morning we find ourselves, after a 3am start, attempting to sell stuff to the trade. I seem to remember bemoaning the fact that when we are out buying, we are often outbid by the Japanese shippers. Well, having sold a load of gear to them and being paid in nice, new, crisp £50 notes, I can see the attraction of chasing that particular market!

Of course, having received a large amount of cash early on, Kathryn and myself took the dubious business decision to go and blow it on some lovely stuff for the shop. So, coming to the shop very soon; loads of old tobacco tins, loads of old kilner jars, clockmakers cabinets, enamel signs, metal planters and, of course, more cupboards, tables, chairs and other lovely things.

DREADNOUGHT

As if I wasn’t busy enough, I’ve set myself the task of building a dreadnought for the Artists’ Marquee here at Burwash in July (in association with Open Studios!). If I manage to finish it on time then, post exhibition, we’re going to find a space in the shop to create some sort of ‘battleship’ display...Kathryn can’t wait.... (unless, of course, it sells – although I usually end up keeping all the large ships I make – they’re like children but quieter and requiring less dusting).

p.s. I really did this blog to see what picture Kathryn would shoehorn into it!

LLOYD LOOM SOFA

We have never seen an original loom sofa in all our years dealing...well, until now! We now have one in the shop, form 1938; it’s a really beautiful shape. We’ve painted it grey to give it a slightly more contemporary feel and it looks great...even just for displaying our cushions on!

SALESPERSON OF THE WEEK

An odd one, this. The phone rings –

“Hello, Nest”
“Hi. I had a load of stuff I was going to bring over to you to sell, but I sold it all to another dealer – sorry.”

“Right, good, well done! Err..bye”.
“Bye.”

We award this person salesperson of the week – if anyone else wants to phone us up to tell us they sold a lot of things to another dealer...well...perhaps don’t bother?!

CAR BOOT SALE

I was at a car boot, selling, the other Sunday (a general build up of domestic and workshop stuff). I hadn’t ‘done’ a car boot for about 10 years so it was great fun catching up with the experience. It did give me the chance to sharpen up my haggling skills. Normally I use them to buy, but I was on the other side of the fence, this time.

Trouble is, I don’t haggle in the shop so I think I may have offended a few buyers with my ‘robust’ style!
One guy asked “how much for the desk, mate?”
“Tenner” I said.
“Would you take 8?” he replied.
“No, a tenner’s fair”.
“Yeah, but I want a deal” he said.
So I replied “Right, I want 15 for the desk”.
He went quiet and then said “What about a tenner?”
“Done.”

This was my general philosophy the whole day. A rather irritated lady wanted to buy a child’s chair.
“How much?” she said.
“Tenner” I replied.
“What about 7?”
“No.”
“What about 8?”
“No.”
“Oh, come on, last offer – how about 9?”
“No.”
“You’re not very nice, are you?”
“10 quid is a bargain for that”, I said.
“Well, I’m going to think about it” she replied.
“You’re going to think about a quid?” I said.

She thought about it for five seconds and gave me the tenner. She broke the basic haggling rule. She kept her feet pointing at the chair the whole time, which means she wants it.... Still, she could have done a handstand and sung the national anthem – it was still going to cost her a tenner!

And, by the way, last offer should always be your last offer. If it isn’t – don’t say it!

SALESPERSON OF THE WEEK

I award myself ‘Salesperson of the Week’ for presiding over the worst Tuesday of the year so far. I immediately sacked myself at the end of the day. Unfortunately, I was re-employed the next day and made to sand things at the workshop all day as punishment.

Obviously this award is erring on the side of sarcastic....

STEALY STEALY

The results of the stocktake have come through. There will be a few close calls, recounts and a final judgement and then it’s all over for another year – yee ha!

One result of a complete stocktake, that we become painfully aware of, is the amount of stuff that gets stolen. And specifically what is being stolen.

We had to stop selling our lovely Italian marble coasters because too many were being lifted. The temptation is to try and make the shop more secure and put more things behind glass but it would spoil the look and atmosphere of Nest and we desperately don’t want a few s**ts to mess it up for everyone else.

The other thing we notice is the amount of damaged stock that needs either writing off or repairing. It’s those pesky kids – in fact child damage costs us nearly as much as theft. Now we’re not about to bar children (although there are days when we think about it!) but some of the stories we could tell of unruly children....

Anyway, that’s another rant for another day!

VINTAGE RANT

A reproduction sign saying ‘vintage store' just about sums up the way this word is now misused.. Grrr!!

ROAD TRIP

Our buying trips have been few and far between this year due to the weather. Lots of antique fairs have been cancelled so we’ve been relying on more local sellers to keep us stocked up. However, we did manage to get over to a big (ridiculously cold!) fair this week and picked up a few choice items.

Thankfully we’ve found lots of taxidermy for the shop – including an arctic fox in a case stalking a rabbit, some stoats and a magpie. Sadly, a Scottish dealer who was supposed to be keeping aside some ‘special’ items for us decided to sell them...Kathryn is relieved! Although we did pick up from him the most fantastic metre long ‘blue’ fish on a plaque – but it’s so nice I’m keeping it...along with the bust of Mary and baby Jesus (do not attempt to break into my house at night, it will freak you out! As would the stuff pictured here...strangely, we weren’t tempted).

What else did we get? Some lovely old milk urns – great planters, a large 30 drawer metal mechanics cabinet on wheels (very industrial chic!), lots of lovely chairs, blankets, boxes, toy cars, typewrites, bird boxes...and did I mention stuffed animals?!

KIRSTY'S VINTAGE EASTER

We’re really looking forward to Kirsty Allsopp’s new series entitled ‘Kirsty’s Vintage Easter’. In the show, Kirsty shows you how to have a vintage Easter using simple crafting skills (well, other peoples skills).

Her local glassblower friend will demonstrate how simple it is for anyone to pop down to their local glassblower and bugger around for days producing naff little hand blown glass chicks. While another friend, who amazingly owns a sheep farm combined with an internationally renowned knitting studio will show how easy it is for you to pop down to your local internationally recognised knitting studio and create vintage organic recycled jumpers with pretty lambs on the front. Her other friend who runs the local organic smelting works (running off organic fair-trade coal) will demonstrate how easy it is to make personalised brand new vintage upcycled chicken feeders from old melted down chicken feeders.

The final episode will show Kirsty throwing a lavish vintage party in which she gives away all the stuff she has made to her family and vintage friends. Meanwhile, all the stuff made by the experts will end up in her home!

Nice one Kirsty – roll on Kirsty’s Vintage Homemade Upcycled Recycled Upside Down how to make a series of programmes based on the word Vintage for evermore – amen!

TEASPOONS!

Since we started selling cutlery several people have mentioned that they are always losing teaspoons.

I think this is the same type of phenomena that causes socks to disappear.

I wonder if there are any other things that are constantly and mysteriously just not there one day? If so, let us know, these are the sort of things we should have in stock!

AWARD CEREMONIES

We sell loads of greeting cards at Nest. Because we sell loads of cards, we get sent all the industry magazines (not a great read). If you do read them you will note that there are several awards ceremonies every year for being best at something to do with the card industry.

We have noticed over the years that it would appear that just about every industry has award ceremonies (with the possible exception of the furniture restoration ranters industry). As such, an industry has evolved that just organises award ceremonies for all these industries.

My question is this – do companies that organise award ceremonies have their own award ceremony to see who the best is?

Just wondering...it’s a slow day in the shop!

COLLECTIVE TERMS

We’ve just got some new mugs in, illustrating the collective names for the following:
a murder of crows
a skulk of foxes
a parliament of owls

a prickle of hedgehogs
a trip of hares
a squabble of seagulls
and a gallop of findus lasagne

Here are some we would like to have in:
an absence of Kirsty Allsopp’s vintage things
a buying frenzy of Nest customers
a clear run of A14s
a disappearance of anything with the word celebrity in its title

Oh, this is too easy – this blog could go on for ever!

IKEA

In light of a large Swedish furniture retailer recently discovering horsemeat in their products, we would like to declare that while the vast bulk of our furniture is totally untraceable in origin, we’re pretty sure it doesn’t contain horse (although we can’t vouch for that Hungarian dresser in the corner).

Err....I hope that clears up our position on the current horsemeat scandal.

MADE TO LAST?

“Oh yeah,” said the hairdresser on some property/antique/lifestyle television show, “furniture was made to last in them olden days” (she was no expert). Well, was it?

Err...not especially. The bulk of ‘old’ furniture that has survived tends to be well built, for obvious reasons.

Was all the furniture from the Middle Ages made from large lumps of oak? It wasn’t, it’s just that those made of oak have survived – a big lump of oak is very durable! The Victorians were industrialised – they churned out vast quantities of cheap, badly made furniture. Where is it?

Of course, some badly made furniture does survive – but in our experience, it tends to be rarer that than the well made stuff!

So...in 2070 will a hairdresser be looking at a 1970s MFI bedside cabinet and saying “oh yeah, they really made things to last in the olden days”. I think not!

WOODEN POSTCARDS? REALLY?!

As you know, we’re always on the lookout for something a little bit unique, and we’re chuffed to be selling a new range of wooden postcards in Nest, now!

They’re based on the original postcards from the early 1900s, and screen-printed on to 4mm birch. Best thing – you don’t need an envelope, just stick a normal first/second class stamp on and they’re good to go.

And in line with our ethical policy, they’re made here in the UK and for every ten cards that are sold, the company plants a tree in Africa...so everyone’s a winner!

A VIEW FROM THE WORKSHOP

Well, it had to happen at some point – a member of staff has written a blog. Nicole, comfortably ensconced in our new finishing shop, does the vast majority of the painted and distressed finished now....and a grand job she does too. Clearly this has inspired her to write a blog entitled ‘view from the workshop’.

I might just add quickly (because we don’t intend to censor her in any way and Nicole will hopefully write some more) that any resemblance to real people, events and locations is simply a coincidence. I think that should cover it! Anyway, here’s Nicole:

Who would know, even me (who does), that a hobbling, sad eyed piece of furniture in need of a bath could become once more a proud and beautiful object with memories and history restored...

Here I am, the alchemists apprentice on my knees in the workshop putting the final touches on the ‘homestuff’ that Nest sources and re-fashions like grandmother in the magic forest, making sure that they retain their wooden souls.

A simple coat of paint it isn’t... I take great pleasure in the transformation of the finished pieces, most of which I covet for myself! Matt restrains me from embellishment, but for my own work I have a free reign for the quirky and the decorative impulse...

Who knows what will come limping into the workshop next week, every week the landscape changes and each item of furniture has its own personality. The solitary workshop experience can fire the imagination in peculiar ways...or is it just the fumes?!

A YEAR OF POSTING!

A year of posting! Is this stuff interesting? Should we keep on doing it?

We’ve been trying to remember why we started writing in the first place. I think, apart from it being our  year of ‘new media’, that it was prompted by an argument with a French sales rep working for a company that specialised in pushing your website profile up the search engine list.

I think he promised about 5 million hits a month and an appearance on page one. We would apparently be stupid not to take up his offer (sailing dangerously close to salesperson of the week award) – being French he was especially good at ‘goading’ and ‘huffing’. Anyway, the ‘discussion’ ended with him saying “you don’t even have a blog” and I said “oh yes, we do, I just haven’t...err...uploaded it recently” and him muttering that we would be begging for his services in about 6 months.

Well, I don’t know where NEST appears when you search for it – I always find it at Burwash Manor in the second courtyard, tucked away in the far corner – and, to be honest, that’s how most of our customers find us. We’re a lovely little secret and I suspect most of our customers would like to keep it that way!

(picture is of one of our French lamp....some French things are wonderful!)

SALESPERSON OF THE WEEK

“Hello, I’ve got an 18 foot pine church pew to sell” he said, on the phone.
“Well, it’s a little too big to fit in our shop” I said.
“Ah, I thought of that – you could cut it in half and then you would have 2 pews” he said.
“Has it got 2 end panels?” I said.
“Yes, indeed it has” he said.
“Then I would have one pew and a plank” I said.
Long silence.

“Yes, yes, I suppose you would, err....that’s not much use, is it?” he said.
“No, not really” I said.
“O.K. sorry to bother you – bye now” he said.
We award him Sales Strategy Man of the Week.

SALE

Okay...I think we might have blogged a short while ago about how Nest would imperiously not be having a sale.

Well...erm...we sort of are but only on paintings! It was a very quiet day, the media having said we were going to get 3 metres of snow in an afternoon and that it wouldn’t thaw until June so I had a bit of spare time....and I thought...I know, I must just re-price a few paintings and then I just carried on – it might have been because I had spent a lot of that ‘quiet’ time eating the shops supply of jelly babies. Anyway, when I finally crashed I think I may have reduced the prices of nearly all our paintings so if you’ve had your eye on one, now might be a good time to pop in...but only if you can dig yourself out of all the snow* that should be piled up in front of your door!

*Obviously there is no snow now...I left this in the shop for Kathryn to look at and, of course, it took her a week to walk in, trudging though shoulder high snow drifts to collect it...or something like that...

STUFF THAT HAS TO GO UPSTAIRS

I once owned a very beautiful old factory shoe rack (think of a big set of shelves on wheels).  It needed to go upstairs – it got stuck halfway up and just wouldn’t budge – I had to saw it in half and rejoin it once upstairs – my wife was cross – so was I, but it was the only solution.

At Nest we’re always looking for furniture that comes apart so that it will get through small spaces and up the stairs. But what I especially like is the furniture that was never originally made to come apart but suffered the same fate as my factory shoe rack.

We’ve had a surprisingly large amount over the years! It ranges from the beautifully dismantled to the ‘where’s my f***ing saw – you will f***king fit’! Furniture that comes apart is commonly known as ‘breakfront’ for obvious reasons.

On the same theme, people often mock the small door on the back of our delivery Landrover – words to the effect of ‘what a daft door’. BUT...it’s the same size as a standard front door...so...if it won’t go in the Landrover, it won’t go in a house – a very hand device!

Now, if some of our customers could just remember that just because something will fit in a space upstairs doesn’t mean it will fit on the way to the upstairs then life would be a little easier and we wouldn’t have to get the saw out!

THE WAY FORWARD

After much thinking, fretting and mugs of coffee whilst staring out of the window, we think the main Nest plan for 2013 is to make more stuff ourselves. Whether this involves making more furniture or just more small stuff we don’t know yet, but at least it puts the shops destiny a little more in our hands and fits in with our environmental and ethical policy. By ethical policy we mean it’s fine to exploit ourselves working long hours for little pay rather than someone else doing it!

Our wooden letters made from scrap timber have been a real bestseller for us and the fact that we make them gives me a nice rosy feeling! So perhaps this, combined with other secret plans is the way forward.

Wait a moment – wasn’t last year our ‘social media year’? Do we still have to keep writing this blog – shouldn’t we be making things instead?

Oh, both...as I said, exploited!

WHAT'S NEW?

Actually – following on from the last post about our plans for 2013 – are we missing a trick? Is there anything you lovely customers out there think we should be doing? As well as selling lots of lovely cutlery, of course, which we mentioned before but we didn't have a picture, then!

(we will ignore requests for padded, scented, clothes hangers...)

JANUARY BUYING TRIPS

Well, we’ve managed two buying trips already – attempting to keep the shop full of interesting and unique items.

If you like your cutlery a la mix and match we have loads of new stuff in at the moment – all sorts of styles and finishes! We also finally picked up an old imperial typewriter which makes a beautiful decorative piece as well as loads of interiors magazines from the 1950s and 1960s – still interesting to note how many of the trends from those days are still trending now.

So, what’s going to be happening at Nest in 2013? Well, we have plans – secret plans – afoot (tee hee.)..it’s just about having the time to implement them!

OUR FAVOURITE JOKE

Our favourite trade joke:
- How do you make £100 in the antiques trade?
- Start with £200!!
This probably sums up general trade in January, in the snow...!!

JANUARY SALE...

Are we having a sale?
- No!

Why?
- Because we like everything in the shop and, quite honestly, a piece of furniture that is already over a 100 years old doesn’t suddenly de-value in January.

But everyone else is having a sale.
- We’re not everyone else and that’s why you should come and shop with us!

What?
- No more daft talk of sales, be off with you!

FIRST BLOG OF THE YEAR!

Happy New Year to everyone!

This is the first post in 2013 and I didn’t have a clue what to write about until I read the Style section of the Sunday Times and, guess what? A small rant started to form...so that New Year resolution didn’t last long!

The Sunday Times ran a bit of a’ what’s in and what’s not (in interiors)’. However, the problem was that their photographs of so called ‘clichés’ were much better than the pictures of their suggested alternatives.

Especially irritating was the suggestion that ‘industrial chic’ was ‘so over’ when actually it’s red hot and will remain so...anyway, we love it so they can just stuff off!

What was their alternative suggestion? Well, in their words you should try a contemporary take on the traditional country look! By the time you’ve worked out what this is, it will inevitably be a cliché....