CUSTOMERS AND COMMENTS

I’m sitting in the shop trying to write this blog. I had composed a brilliant, witty, satirical piece in my head whilst walking the dog a bit earlier, but since getting here and having multi-tasked for the last two hours (difficult for me) I’ve completely forgotten what I was going to write about. Normally a bit of feedback from a customer is sufficient to spark off an idea. I do love sitting here and overhearing the odd conversation.

There are certain people who like walking around, making deliberately loud and provocative statements about the cost or state of our furniture (luckily these types are self editing and don’t come back). Then there are the women meeting up for a chat and a shop although it usually seems to end up in just a long chat. I once witnessed two women talk for an hour in the back room of the shop (they actually sat down on some chairs). Our CCTV isn’t wired for sound so I could only watch their gesticulations and guess what the conversation was about. I concluded that a neighbour had been selling secrets to the Chinese and had some sort of allergy to nuts or maybe squirrels (same thing) and the in-laws had moved to Reading but didn’t like fishing in boats because they didn’t like cheese sandwiches. I think that’s what they were talking about. It has about the same level of reality as the odd comment that I do hear.

The one that I overhear the most is that the owners of Nest are millionaires. If I can get away with it, sometimes I pretend to be the employee and mention that my boss would be insulted to hear that you thought he was only a millionaire. Although we have had customers (both Kathryn and I) ask to see the owner and when we declare that we are the owners they tell us not to be ridiculous because the owner wouldn’t possibly serve behind the counter!

I once had someone ask me did I know Matthew, the owner (that’s me) that well because they knew the owner of this business very well. It’s difficult to know what to say in that situation. I wanted to say that I woke up with him every morning but that would have started an entirely different rumour!
The shop was phoned up a few years ago by a very irate customer who said our delivery driver (me) was talking to a woman in the Waitrose car-park in Trumpington and did his wife know? Come on, get a life! What would the chances be of me having a secret affair while driving around in the most ridiculous looking Landover in the world...with my phone number emblazoned on the side? Still, as other rumours have it that the owners of Nest are married (guess again...brother and sister), I could get accused of cheating on my wife if I was seen kissing my wife...because customers have no idea who my wife is! Sometimes I think it would be safer just to stay in the workshop the whole time with Olive (my Labrador...not a Russian counter espionage expert who seduced me into revealing the secrets of the second hand furniture market).

But it’s not all gossip... we love to talk to our customers...many a friendship has started due to a chance remark overheard in the shop. We have even made friends with customers who never buy a thing but are interesting to pass the time of day with. That said, next time I might just reveal the rumours about a rival business...apparently they’re not from this planet...stay tuned!