DRESSER WARS

Now and again a customer asks me what my house looks like. It’s tempting to say it’s full of IKEA and MFI but in reality virtually all my furniture has come via the shop. Oddly, there are only a few pieces that ‘never made it’ to Nest. Sometimes we get an item that I love, I know we will never see again and I go for it. So I take my treasure home, offer it up on the doorstep like a little doggy and hope my wife will love it as much as me! I have about a 50% hit rate getting it past the front door but if I wasn’t censored the whole house would be full by now.

Strangely, though, my favourite piece of furniture sat in the shop for about a month and was by and large ignored by you lot out there. I kept looking at it and thinking...hmm..I have a place that would look really good in. So...I bought it and it does look amazing. Another piece of furniture (a massive painted bowfront chest) sat in the shop for about 3 months. I finally got fed up of no one appreciating it and took it home out of spite! However, it looks fantastic and we haven’t seen another one since.

The shop really is an expression of the things Kathryn (business partner) and I like. So naturally both our houses contain the sort of stuff you see in the shop.

There was a large pink cupboard that we bought when first setting up Nest – we sold it quickly but then were offered it again some years later. So we bought it again! It sat in the shop for almost a week during which time several people fell in love but couldn’t persuade difficult partners to also fall in love. Kathryn then decided it would work in her kitchen, just before my wife decided it might work in ours and just before a customer came in after persuading her husband it would work in their house. After the dust settled I ended up having to build a dresser top to match the cupboard for Kathryn. It then took 2 years to find the right cupboard for my kitchen. As for the customer, she bought a vintage rolling pin and was going back home to discuss quicker ways off communication with her husband.

Confused? You should try remembering all this! I’ve got loads of these sorts of stories for future blogs...lucky you!

CASH COWBOYS!

If any of you out there watches television shows such as ‘US Pickers’ and ‘Cash Cowboys’, then you will have a feel for our last 10 days. We’ve been from Norfolk to Lincoln to Great Paxton (!) and then all the way to Lancaster and Morecombe, buying from barns, antique fairs, house clearance and trade contacts....all over the place. We’ve made a lot of new contacts and, of course, most importantly, bought a lot of interesting stuff!

A long held idea we’ve had was to get one of those old coin operated children’s rides for outside the shop. We saw a great vintage motorbike ride for sale and pounced. Hopefully it won’t cost too much to get up and running. Oddly enough, I was watching another show called ‘American Restoration’ and they were working on a very similar ride. If the whole scheme pans out we have a contact who can get us a ride on rabbit...although apparently the paint has worn away from the face making it a little angry looking! Weirdly (back on the television theme), an episode of ‘Bargain Hunt’ was being filmed nearby so it might appear in a future show.

Naturally I have been on the lookout for more stuffed creatures and...hey, hey, hey...bagged the shop a couple of ducks (both drakes and both a little worn, but with great character). There is something intrinsically funny about ducks and the way they move. I also bought a case with 2 grouse in which just look beautiful (I might keep them for myself!).

One of the unexpected finds was a large old green set of scales, probably more commercial than domestic. It was made by ‘Todds Cambridge Scale Works’ of East Road and would look fantastic as a large decorative piece or you could use it weigh ingredients for really massive cakes!

Whilst in Morecombe buying ‘funky glassware’ we took a little time off to get some driftwood along the coast. We found a really beautiful section of clinker built boat which I’m thinking of turning into a coat rack.

Then a scramble through some outbuildings on a house clearance turned up a few surprises. I don’t know if anyone needs an old blacksmith made 5foot iron cross, but we’ve got one! I suspect there may be a lot more lurking on that site so we’re going back at a later date with the landrover, a torch and some tools.

CUSTOMERS AND COMMENTS

I’m sitting in the shop trying to write this blog. I had composed a brilliant, witty, satirical piece in my head whilst walking the dog a bit earlier, but since getting here and having multi-tasked for the last two hours (difficult for me) I’ve completely forgotten what I was going to write about. Normally a bit of feedback from a customer is sufficient to spark off an idea. I do love sitting here and overhearing the odd conversation.

There are certain people who like walking around, making deliberately loud and provocative statements about the cost or state of our furniture (luckily these types are self editing and don’t come back). Then there are the women meeting up for a chat and a shop although it usually seems to end up in just a long chat. I once witnessed two women talk for an hour in the back room of the shop (they actually sat down on some chairs). Our CCTV isn’t wired for sound so I could only watch their gesticulations and guess what the conversation was about. I concluded that a neighbour had been selling secrets to the Chinese and had some sort of allergy to nuts or maybe squirrels (same thing) and the in-laws had moved to Reading but didn’t like fishing in boats because they didn’t like cheese sandwiches. I think that’s what they were talking about. It has about the same level of reality as the odd comment that I do hear.

The one that I overhear the most is that the owners of Nest are millionaires. If I can get away with it, sometimes I pretend to be the employee and mention that my boss would be insulted to hear that you thought he was only a millionaire. Although we have had customers (both Kathryn and I) ask to see the owner and when we declare that we are the owners they tell us not to be ridiculous because the owner wouldn’t possibly serve behind the counter!

I once had someone ask me did I know Matthew, the owner (that’s me) that well because they knew the owner of this business very well. It’s difficult to know what to say in that situation. I wanted to say that I woke up with him every morning but that would have started an entirely different rumour!
The shop was phoned up a few years ago by a very irate customer who said our delivery driver (me) was talking to a woman in the Waitrose car-park in Trumpington and did his wife know? Come on, get a life! What would the chances be of me having a secret affair while driving around in the most ridiculous looking Landover in the world...with my phone number emblazoned on the side? Still, as other rumours have it that the owners of Nest are married (guess again...brother and sister), I could get accused of cheating on my wife if I was seen kissing my wife...because customers have no idea who my wife is! Sometimes I think it would be safer just to stay in the workshop the whole time with Olive (my Labrador...not a Russian counter espionage expert who seduced me into revealing the secrets of the second hand furniture market).

But it’s not all gossip... we love to talk to our customers...many a friendship has started due to a chance remark overheard in the shop. We have even made friends with customers who never buy a thing but are interesting to pass the time of day with. That said, next time I might just reveal the rumours about a rival business...apparently they’re not from this planet...stay tuned!

MODERN MAGAZINES

We have just got a load of 1950s era magazines in at the shop and they are proving highly entertaining for our customers. I find myself reading them during quiet moments. The really interesting aspect of the magazines is the adverts because a lot of what we sell at the shop is from that era.

For a long time, vintage stuff has been ‘in’ and it’s very easy to think that everything from that era is cool and kitschy but, my goodness, looking at what people were buying back then you realise that the current ‘vintage’ look is very selective and turns a major blind eye to some of the rubbish that was available.

On advert in particular caught my eye. It showed a happy young bride clutching to her bosom an Addis gift set as though it was her dream possession.

Yes..the Addis gift set contains a nylon broom heard, a non-rotting scrubbing brush, a pot scrubber, washing up brush and pan scouring brush...all within a polythene bowl, gift wrapped in cellophane with a satin ribbon. Lucky lady!

The ‘Revo-luxe’, an automated cooker, allows the lady to shop knowing that the dinner is safely on. I wonder how many houses burned down on that one?

Melamine was a pretty crazy new thing back then. The advertisers all rejoiced in the ‘fact’ that it was childproof, accident proof and age proof. Ignoring the fact that by definition nothing is ever accident, child or age proof, they were actually pretty durable. The only slight problem with melamine being, that once it’s buggered there ain’t a lot you can do with it. We sell melamine topped tables from time to time and none have been mark free! Marks in an old pine table come under the umbrella of patina....marks in melamine are just marks!

I could go on. Those old magazines are fascinating. But we have some news just in – our lovely stuffed parrot has sold – we shall see a suitable replacement. That buyer, of course, wins random purchase of the day...just ahead of the guy who bought a concrete otter...