STEALY STEALY

The results of the stocktake have come through. There will be a few close calls, recounts and a final judgement and then it’s all over for another year – yee ha!

One result of a complete stocktake, that we become painfully aware of, is the amount of stuff that gets stolen. And specifically what is being stolen.

We had to stop selling our lovely Italian marble coasters because too many were being lifted. The temptation is to try and make the shop more secure and put more things behind glass but it would spoil the look and atmosphere of Nest and we desperately don’t want a few s**ts to mess it up for everyone else.

The other thing we notice is the amount of damaged stock that needs either writing off or repairing. It’s those pesky kids – in fact child damage costs us nearly as much as theft. Now we’re not about to bar children (although there are days when we think about it!) but some of the stories we could tell of unruly children....

Anyway, that’s another rant for another day!

VINTAGE RANT

A reproduction sign saying ‘vintage store' just about sums up the way this word is now misused.. Grrr!!

ROAD TRIP

Our buying trips have been few and far between this year due to the weather. Lots of antique fairs have been cancelled so we’ve been relying on more local sellers to keep us stocked up. However, we did manage to get over to a big (ridiculously cold!) fair this week and picked up a few choice items.

Thankfully we’ve found lots of taxidermy for the shop – including an arctic fox in a case stalking a rabbit, some stoats and a magpie. Sadly, a Scottish dealer who was supposed to be keeping aside some ‘special’ items for us decided to sell them...Kathryn is relieved! Although we did pick up from him the most fantastic metre long ‘blue’ fish on a plaque – but it’s so nice I’m keeping it...along with the bust of Mary and baby Jesus (do not attempt to break into my house at night, it will freak you out! As would the stuff pictured here...strangely, we weren’t tempted).

What else did we get? Some lovely old milk urns – great planters, a large 30 drawer metal mechanics cabinet on wheels (very industrial chic!), lots of lovely chairs, blankets, boxes, toy cars, typewrites, bird boxes...and did I mention stuffed animals?!

KIRSTY'S VINTAGE EASTER

We’re really looking forward to Kirsty Allsopp’s new series entitled ‘Kirsty’s Vintage Easter’. In the show, Kirsty shows you how to have a vintage Easter using simple crafting skills (well, other peoples skills).

Her local glassblower friend will demonstrate how simple it is for anyone to pop down to their local glassblower and bugger around for days producing naff little hand blown glass chicks. While another friend, who amazingly owns a sheep farm combined with an internationally renowned knitting studio will show how easy it is for you to pop down to your local internationally recognised knitting studio and create vintage organic recycled jumpers with pretty lambs on the front. Her other friend who runs the local organic smelting works (running off organic fair-trade coal) will demonstrate how easy it is to make personalised brand new vintage upcycled chicken feeders from old melted down chicken feeders.

The final episode will show Kirsty throwing a lavish vintage party in which she gives away all the stuff she has made to her family and vintage friends. Meanwhile, all the stuff made by the experts will end up in her home!

Nice one Kirsty – roll on Kirsty’s Vintage Homemade Upcycled Recycled Upside Down how to make a series of programmes based on the word Vintage for evermore – amen!

TEASPOONS!

Since we started selling cutlery several people have mentioned that they are always losing teaspoons.

I think this is the same type of phenomena that causes socks to disappear.

I wonder if there are any other things that are constantly and mysteriously just not there one day? If so, let us know, these are the sort of things we should have in stock!

AWARD CEREMONIES

We sell loads of greeting cards at Nest. Because we sell loads of cards, we get sent all the industry magazines (not a great read). If you do read them you will note that there are several awards ceremonies every year for being best at something to do with the card industry.

We have noticed over the years that it would appear that just about every industry has award ceremonies (with the possible exception of the furniture restoration ranters industry). As such, an industry has evolved that just organises award ceremonies for all these industries.

My question is this – do companies that organise award ceremonies have their own award ceremony to see who the best is?

Just wondering...it’s a slow day in the shop!

COLLECTIVE TERMS

We’ve just got some new mugs in, illustrating the collective names for the following:
a murder of crows
a skulk of foxes
a parliament of owls

a prickle of hedgehogs
a trip of hares
a squabble of seagulls
and a gallop of findus lasagne

Here are some we would like to have in:
an absence of Kirsty Allsopp’s vintage things
a buying frenzy of Nest customers
a clear run of A14s
a disappearance of anything with the word celebrity in its title

Oh, this is too easy – this blog could go on for ever!