KIRSTY'S VINTAGE EASTER

We’re really looking forward to Kirsty Allsopp’s new series entitled ‘Kirsty’s Vintage Easter’. In the show, Kirsty shows you how to have a vintage Easter using simple crafting skills (well, other peoples skills).

Her local glassblower friend will demonstrate how simple it is for anyone to pop down to their local glassblower and bugger around for days producing naff little hand blown glass chicks. While another friend, who amazingly owns a sheep farm combined with an internationally renowned knitting studio will show how easy it is for you to pop down to your local internationally recognised knitting studio and create vintage organic recycled jumpers with pretty lambs on the front. Her other friend who runs the local organic smelting works (running off organic fair-trade coal) will demonstrate how easy it is to make personalised brand new vintage upcycled chicken feeders from old melted down chicken feeders.

The final episode will show Kirsty throwing a lavish vintage party in which she gives away all the stuff she has made to her family and vintage friends. Meanwhile, all the stuff made by the experts will end up in her home!

Nice one Kirsty – roll on Kirsty’s Vintage Homemade Upcycled Recycled Upside Down how to make a series of programmes based on the word Vintage for evermore – amen!

TEASPOONS!

Since we started selling cutlery several people have mentioned that they are always losing teaspoons.

I think this is the same type of phenomena that causes socks to disappear.

I wonder if there are any other things that are constantly and mysteriously just not there one day? If so, let us know, these are the sort of things we should have in stock!

AWARD CEREMONIES

We sell loads of greeting cards at Nest. Because we sell loads of cards, we get sent all the industry magazines (not a great read). If you do read them you will note that there are several awards ceremonies every year for being best at something to do with the card industry.

We have noticed over the years that it would appear that just about every industry has award ceremonies (with the possible exception of the furniture restoration ranters industry). As such, an industry has evolved that just organises award ceremonies for all these industries.

My question is this – do companies that organise award ceremonies have their own award ceremony to see who the best is?

Just wondering...it’s a slow day in the shop!

COLLECTIVE TERMS

We’ve just got some new mugs in, illustrating the collective names for the following:
a murder of crows
a skulk of foxes
a parliament of owls

a prickle of hedgehogs
a trip of hares
a squabble of seagulls
and a gallop of findus lasagne

Here are some we would like to have in:
an absence of Kirsty Allsopp’s vintage things
a buying frenzy of Nest customers
a clear run of A14s
a disappearance of anything with the word celebrity in its title

Oh, this is too easy – this blog could go on for ever!

IKEA

In light of a large Swedish furniture retailer recently discovering horsemeat in their products, we would like to declare that while the vast bulk of our furniture is totally untraceable in origin, we’re pretty sure it doesn’t contain horse (although we can’t vouch for that Hungarian dresser in the corner).

Err....I hope that clears up our position on the current horsemeat scandal.

MADE TO LAST?

“Oh yeah,” said the hairdresser on some property/antique/lifestyle television show, “furniture was made to last in them olden days” (she was no expert). Well, was it?

Err...not especially. The bulk of ‘old’ furniture that has survived tends to be well built, for obvious reasons.

Was all the furniture from the Middle Ages made from large lumps of oak? It wasn’t, it’s just that those made of oak have survived – a big lump of oak is very durable! The Victorians were industrialised – they churned out vast quantities of cheap, badly made furniture. Where is it?

Of course, some badly made furniture does survive – but in our experience, it tends to be rarer that than the well made stuff!

So...in 2070 will a hairdresser be looking at a 1970s MFI bedside cabinet and saying “oh yeah, they really made things to last in the olden days”. I think not!

WOODEN POSTCARDS? REALLY?!

As you know, we’re always on the lookout for something a little bit unique, and we’re chuffed to be selling a new range of wooden postcards in Nest, now!

They’re based on the original postcards from the early 1900s, and screen-printed on to 4mm birch. Best thing – you don’t need an envelope, just stick a normal first/second class stamp on and they’re good to go.

And in line with our ethical policy, they’re made here in the UK and for every ten cards that are sold, the company plants a tree in Africa...so everyone’s a winner!